More ASCL Logos

I had a request for more logos from my imaginary sports league. Sadly none of these logos has an easily recognizable subliminal meaning (like the Ohio Bullets logo). In fact these ones are pretty ho-hum, but my requestee asked about teams from Montreal and Quebec. Strangely I don't recall ever doing a team for Quebec, perhaps because I couldn't think of a good French name. My teams from Montreal provide ample evidence of my poor French skills. The team was originally called the 3-D, an expression I'm not even sure exists in French. Then I changed it to the Patriotes, another word I am unsure is a real one. Why call a team from Montreal the Patriotes? Irony, wishful thinking? I'm not sure, I think maybe it was because the Canadiens had a patriotic sort of name, and their nickname Les Hab[itant]s has a historical/patriotic context. On the other hand I'm fairly sure the logo is based on the Quebec Nordiques, which was one of my favourites. (I still have my Nordiques jersey hanging in my closet).

I'm including the L.A. Frontiersmen mostly because I've already drawn the logo. There were two teams from L.A., the other one being called the Surf. I guess the Frontiersmen came to be called that because California was the final frontier as America expanded to the west to the coast (of course this isn't totally true, because the Spanish had been in California already, but I was 10 or 11 when I came up with this stuff for god's sake). Perhaps I had the San Fransisco 49ers in mind when I came up with the idea of giving them a "historical" name.

Random Journal Entry

This page comes from Volume 7: The Inner Workings. The page after it mentions Horoscope Nov. 97, a lucky coincidence since the rest of this book is undated. The originals were written in red and blue, which is why I use them here.

Sweet new fantasy
accompanies winter’s embrace
a young wayward princess
that’s taken my place
who slept in my room
when I wasn’t there
who sat in my den
at the top of the stairs
All day she was with me
I knew not from where
I kept on remembering
the smell of her hair
At last I recalled
she had borrowed my hat
but still I’m not sure
if it was totally that

Trodding again a beaten winter routine
marijuana, cigarettes and listlessness
my body grows stiff
mind yearning yet cramped
into the 30” box of nothingness
how to forestall this hibernation
sleep and empty calories
soothing mindless distraction
ah to die inside again
after a brief bath
of sunlight
back to the cave of sorrows

Ryan: 1, MPI: nil

MPI has been bragging in the media about how they are giving motorists a rebate because they made so much extra money last year. This week I learned that I cost the beneficent corporation $200, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

If you are a follower of this blog you’ll know that I have been through all the bureaucratic bull-crap that MPI could throw at me to get a $200 levy removed from my licence. Judging by their rebate I was right in assuming that they had too much money, and did not need mine. But my point was not only to get back MY money, but to see if I could challenge their policy on behalf of all people who’s circumstances are similar to mine (although that probably amounts to less than two dozen people in the whole province.)

I am aware of the number of false claims MPI receives, but it was wrong for MPI to assume my guilt, and it was wrong for them to want to indiscriminately punish me for my accident. I am glad for the opportunity to right the wrong, and you can be certain I will be informing the Minister for MPI, the President and the Ombudsman of my findings.

Navel Gazing

Flagrant narcissist that I am I just Googled myself to see if anyone loves me as much as I do. Needless to say, I'm not Paris Hilton popular yet. I got about 1200 hits, but only a handful were about me. As usual most links were to this NASCAR photographer named Geoff Kinrade, and many more from god knows what. Interestingly, there were quite a few that seemed to relate to biking in some way. I know that the Isle of Man (where my last name comes from) hosts an annual motocross race of some reputation, but most of the links seem to be about Mountain Biking. Perhaps we Manx have a thing for cycles, motored or otherwise; that would certainly be in keeping with the three legs running (or are the peddling?) as featured on the Manx flag.

Anyway I found this letter at the link embedded in the title. Apparently some site put together by a Winnipegger with a bone to pick against urban sprawl. I didn't really read too much of it because I was too busy staring at my own reflection. Here's the letter (originally published Oct. 1, 2004):

Better bikeways
must be built

As a cyclist I disagree with the letter advocating bicycle riding on city sidewalks (Let cyclists ride on deserted sidewalks.)
Even in the absence of pedestrians, cycling on sidewalks is dangerous for both cyclists and motorists and should be avoided at all costs.
A typical cyclist on the sidewalk disregards the rules of traffic and freely crosses controlled intersections, back lanes, etc. often without slowing down. Furthermore cyclists face decreased visibility when riding on the sidewalks as drivers tend to concentrate on the road.
Increased safety for bike riders will be achieved more rapidly if cyclists arm themselves with proper gear (helmets, flashers, reflective clothing and a rear view mirror) and take to the streets.
More cyclists on the streets will raise the attention, and ire, of motorists, and eventually the reality will dawn on government that better bikeways must be built.

Generalizing is generally a bad idea

This is a correspondence I had with a reporter from the National Post regarding a terrible lead paragraph from a story in yesterday's paper.

The standoff between Iran and the West over the Islamic nation's nuclear program is mostly a diplomatic situation that means little to average citizens.

I wrote:

Dear Ms Thorpe,

You framed a recent article on surging oil prices by suggesting that the stand-off between the West and Iran means little to the average citizen, but for the rising price of oil. And yet there were several pages of coverage--including the front page lead--in that same edition of the National Post; evidence, in my mind at least, that your editors believe these events are important to ordinary citizens like myself. They were right, and you were wrong. In the future, please refrain from insulting and demeaning the intelligence of "average" people when looking for a compelling lead for your stories.

Sincerely,


Ryan Kinrade
Winnipeg

Ms Thorpe replied:

Actually, my editors were wrong that day because they completely rewrote the
original story I submitted. It doesn't happen often but when it does they
can really turn it into a doozy. As you can imagine I was not too happy.

(original below)

The global economy barely shrugged when oil prices surged 250% to more than US$60 per barrel between 2002 and 2005 but the rise beyond US$70 could be harder to absorb.

My response:

Yikes! My apologies, your lead is far more rational, if less scintillating. I hope you will inform your editors that heavily biased leads that editorialize about what the "average citizen" believes and thinks about diminish the value of the rest of the article. If a story tells me right off the top what I'm thinking, and it is dead wrong, I will believe that the writer did not do his/her homework. As a result I will not take the rest of the information presented seriously, having judged the reporter to be an opinionated know-nothing and a lazy researcher. No wonder I don't pick up your paper that often.

The Theory of Enough, Part II

Why is it that there is such a premium placed on upward mobility? On the assumption that each generation must be better off than the one before it? It seems to be a concept that we take for granted; those who fail to live up to it feel somehow cheated by life and disenfranchised. I for one will never equal my parents professional credentials or earning power, but I do not consider myself a failure. On the contrary, I see myself as having evolved. By not settling for the notion that greater wealth will make me a better person, I have discovered a more fruitful ideology: living with respect for earth and man.

When I was in University one of the most striking things I learned came from a first year Geography course. The professor told us that if we were to end world poverty the average middle-class North American would need to live on 1/7th of their current wealth. I don’t quite remember the context of this statement, nor the evidence that supported it. But I have always used it as a benchmark when assessing my society’s greed because it seemed a fair assessment, and a worthwhile challenge to me. We are far too rich, and above all, inconsiderate of the fact that our ever multiplying prosperity is dependant on the destruction of nature and the subjugation of others.

Apparently mine is not an overly popular view. Young people continue to leave this city in droves to find the affluence and excitement that Winnipeg will never provide. We are the crumbling capital of a needy province. They are taking their educated brains and skilled hands to where they can enjoy greater material happiness, even at the expense of leaving those they love behind. I wonder why so many have grown up to believe that what you have is worth more than who you are and where you come from.

The province’s politicians and business leaders are desperately trying to answer the question of how to retain our youth, especially the “knowledge workers” and the “creative class” because these groups evidently represents our future prosperity. The most logical answer to the dilemma is to alter the expectations of youth and help them come to a different understanding about what life is supposed to be for. This, however, is a near impossible task. The uninterruptible messages of celebrity and status that fuel society are filtered through the lens of a manipulated media that cannot live without advertising. Add to that implicit imperative of Financial Security, and family pressures, and you get a really difficult nut to crack.

Failing a geological and/or environmental event of catastrophic proportions, Winnipeg will never be a major metropolis. Those who seek the opulence and exhilaration of the Big City will never find it here. We are a hearty and frugal folk, practical to the core. We are artists and workers and homemakers. Our advantage is not how cheap it is to live here, but who we are as people. It is all the culture that makes up this city and it’s ethnic diversity; it’s our First Nations heritage. It is the families and friends we grew up with, the places we live and meet in. And it’s the landscape itself, the weather: sometimes violent, sometimes bitter, sometimes beautiful and other times damn buggy. It is the never ending sky.

What Winnipeg could do, if it had the will, and the guts, would be to live life on its own terms. To harmonize and adapt to nature rather than being a complacent resource wasting culture of haves and want mores. Every day there is an opportunity to help someone less fortunate, to let someone merge, to thank your god(s) for the gift of life. Winnipeg is incapable of winning the Rat Race; I for one would be eternally grateful if we could all agree to stop running in it, and spend our limited time on earth acting on things that really matter instead. Living as the first people who lived on this land did, with reverence and resolve, reflection and respect.

Pregretting

verb: Regretting something in advance of having done it.

example: Every time I go to get my hair cut I have the same feeling of pregretting. My hair always seems to look so perfect before they chop it off, and I say to myself: “I’ve just got it to the stage I wanted, I should leave it.” It’s like buyer’s remorse in reverse. But in the end I know it is time to lighten the load and take a chance on change.

etymology: [Modern English] Ryan was talking about pre-regretting his hair cut, and Josey suggested "pregretting."

Mondo Chills

Much of the time Armando is a textbook scaredy-cat. She is a blurry little black ball, scampering for cover from the slightest noise. Not today though—today Armando claimed her spot in the sun. And, as you can see, she was not shy about rolling over to give her belly some.

Sanity returns to Slurpeeville, but what about the rest of 'em?

Here is my latest IMHO article, as published by the Winnipeg Free Press yesterday.

IN this age of copious over-consumption the big heads at 7-Eleven have taken a bold step. They've reintroduced, in its original waxed glory, the most practical Slurpee cup, the 650-millilitre (along with a wee 355-ml "child's portion" size). This is the most positive move in mass-consumerism I've seen for ages.
For the last eight or nine years I have been forced to drink my beloved Slurpees from inferior plastic "Gulp" cups. Whereas a whole 795-ml Slurpee would make me over-caffeinated and queasy, and the yellow 454-ml Slurpee cups (waxy as they are) seldom proved to be enough of a good thing, the Gulp's 550-ml capacity was just right.

Oddly, my decision to use a Gulp cup for Slurpees created quite a stir of controversy at my old Sev. One clerk would always berate me because "rules and regulations" forbade putting one kind of beverage in another kind of cup, even though the prices were virtually the same by volume. She never did show me a book where these rules might be found, although we must have had the same argument more than 30 times.

I eventually realized that I could skirt the issue by refilling old cups. She couldn't fault me for reusing a cup I'd already paid for. (This method also saved me 36 cents a Slurpee, and eased my environmental conscience.) But, crafty old witch that she is, she found a way to scold me, this time for not waving the cup in her face and proclaiming it to be a refill the moment I walked into the store.

Thankfully, 7-Eleven's new cups have spared me any further grief. More importantly, though, they've fired a shot over the bow at Gargantuanization. Gargantuanization, marketed as "Super Sizing" by one notorious chain of pudge peddlers, is the seemingly inevitable drift from sensible servings to preposterous portions. It's a marketing tactic meant to instil a sense of value in the consumer -- the "more for less" principle that Winnipeggers understand so intimately. Unfortunately, the side-effect of this popular ploy is a fatter population chowing down on more and more fattening crap.

That is why I consider 7-Eleven's concession to common sense, its realization that more practical cup sizes are appropriate, such a monumental leap forward. The Southland Corp., 7-Eleven's parent company, is a junk-food-industry superpower. It was a major aggressor in the initial Gargantuanization buildup of the 1980s, introducing the huge -- and hugely popular -- Big Gulp. By today's standard a Big Gulp seems modest enough, but in those innocent times it was considered indecent and scandalous by many to drink that much soda in one sitting. Effective advertising soon took care of those outdated notions -- so much so that within a few years 7-Eleven had to offer the even more outrageous Super Big Gulp to stay ahead of its competition.

Sadly, the humongous-soda craze proved to be a like a gateway drug: theatres began offering pails of popcorn bathed in "golden topping" for another 50 cents, and by the '90s you could double your fries at McDonald's for a dime. Hopefully, Southland's conciliatory move toward serving-size sanity can help curtail the madness they so successfully fostered.

As with all previous trends in mass marketing, when the giant farts, everyone else needs to get in line, or get blown over. I've even heard that Wal-Mart is introducing organic products. No word on when they'll be dumping the family-of-40-sized bags of Cheetos, but any accommodation to healthy alternatives must be viewed as progress.

In the end, consumer insouciance is as much to blame for the rise of gross over-consumption as brilliantly pathological marketing. No one gets off on just enough of something -- we've all been successfully programmed to expect better things in bigger packages. Which is fortunate, because Gargantuanization is rapidly turning us into a nation of walruses.


Despite the reintroduction of the 650-ml wax cup, Ryan Kinrade will continue to use the his fine collection of re-usable SpongeBob SquarePants Slurpee cups whenever possible.

Final Argument

Here is the final draft of the letter I read to the "Rates Appeal Board" this evening. This is part of my on-going saga with MPI, and the extra fee they tacked onto my licence for sliding into a snow bank on an icy day. I took it like a professional assignment (it is worth a potential $235 dollars.) I wore my hair back in a ponytail, face clean shaven. I had on a blue dress shirt, undone at the collar and my favourite tweed sport coat, with the awesome "Happy Crab" pin Josey got me from Hawaii on the lapel. The board was made up of three volunteer ajudicators. One was a a white guy who had a t-shirt for some motor-cycle manufacturer or other, one was a woman of colour, whose racial profile, and outfit escape me, and the third was an East Indian looking fellow in bland business casual.(I took day one of three on Cultural Diversity today, so I'm a bit colour sensitive.) They were all in their mid-40's to 50's. To be honest I think I had them all for breakfast. Even the biker guy who was representing: "Well you know this stays on your record, even IF (big IF) we find in your favour, blah, blah..." seemed swayed by my argument. But I shouldn't be so cocky, I still have a week to wait to see the result.

I am appealing the $200 surcharge on my driver’s licence based on the fact that it is unwarranted and unfair in my case. I have held my Driver’s licence for 12 years, and in that time have not caused a single accident. The incident in question involved a single, fully insured vehicle, a deductible of $200 that I was personally responsible for, and zero harm to property or person, beyond damage to the van. Whereas MPI considers it “fair” to automatically impose an additional fine for any accident in which a driver is found to be “100% responsible” it is my belief that they should allow good drivers who do not annually licence vehicles the option to use their accumulated merits to offset the penalties which, to people of my income level, seem unduly harsh.

The incident for which MPI has imposed their fine happened as follows: I pulled into the driveway of the group home where I work, with the company vehicle, at what I considered a reasonable speed. Unfortunately I skidded on a patch of ice just as I made my turn and I plowed into a rock-hard snow bank. The molded bumper cracked. I do not deny that I caused this accident, but I do believe that I was driving responsibly, and was a victim of poor conditions.

According to one Customer Service Agent I spoke to it is fairer to the majority of Manitobans to pay the $200 surcharge on their driver's licences because it allows them to maintain their merits. He offered an example I found personally insulting by mentioning the hardship a merit reduction would cause the owner of multiple vehicles. However, for people like myself that do not insure personal vehicles for economic and/or environmental reasons the preservation of merits is of little value. Yet we are not given the option to use them to offset the levy. A second agent explained that the $200 surcharge was punishment for having driven irresponsibly. MPI’s website backs this assertion by offering the following justification:

Q: Why do I have to pay a surcharge for having an accident?

A: Drivers cause accidents not vehicles. Surcharges make sure that all drivers who cost the insurance fund pay more into the insurance fund. (http://mpi.mb.ca/english/Insurance/i_faq.html).

Given the nature of my incident and my driving record I do not believe I deserve to be disciplined. However if punishment is due, I should at least have the option to use the merits I've earned as a conscientious driver to offset the penalty. In lieu of that option I ask that the fee be waived in my case.

MPI may argue there is the issue of whether or not I have paid sufficiently into their insurance fund, seeing as I do not annually insure a vehicle. They may seek damages beyond the deductible I paid for repairs to the vehicle because they feel it is only “fair” that I “pay my share.” I would counter this argument by insisting that I have paid my annual licence premium since 1994, without complaint, and have even published an article in the Free Press advocating for more responsible driving. (I brought along a copy of my article and left it with the board).

If MPI feels it needs to collect more from licensed drivers who do not pay annual premiums, let them increase the rates on the fleet and commercial vehicles that we must operate to maintain our employment. As employees we do not have the option to forgo claims when minor damage is done to the vehicles we operate. Had this been my vehicle, I’d have lived with the cracked bumper rather than facing MPI’s punishment, but being an employee it was my obligation to own up to the damage and face the consequences.

In conclusion I would like to say that this levy amounts to a significant and highly punitive chunk for an otherwise responsible citizen of very modest means, who happened to make one honest mistake while carrying out his professional duties. If I was driving recklessly, or had been involved in multiple accidents, then I can see how additional charges might be justified. But in the case of a once-in-a-dozen-year minor accident, shouldn’t the insurance company pay-out without looking to reprimand me? Is it fair for the insurer to punish me without giving me the option to use the merit system they designed to reward good drivers?

Don't believe the hype

On Wednesday I had the "Letter of the Day" in the Winnipeg Free Press all about how bike mirrors are such an important safety tool. Today I crashed into a temporary barricade while turning from Arlington onto Portage because I was looking behind me, and not ahead. So I guess I'm not so smart after all. The only question is: should I issue a retraction?

ACSL Logos

Today I helped my friend Andrina load up some furniture for her store. For some reason we started talking about playing hockey. When I was a kid I really badly wanted to be a great hockey player, like so many Canadian boys. But I was over-weight and pathetic on skates. So I played in Tier 4, the house league. Sadly I had these fat prick coaches who thought they were in the NHL, and they would more or less bench me if it was an "important" game. Obviously my dreams of being Hawerchuck or Gretzky would never be realized.

I was telling Andrina I created a league where I was a star. Being a kid super interested in drawing, geography and sports logos I created names and logos for all my teams. I called my league the ACSL, which I think I just picked at first because I liked the sound of the letters. Anyway, the acronym came to stand for the "Associated Cities Sporting League," giving it kind of an old-fashioned sounding historical connotation (as if it was contemporary to, or even pre-dated the NHL.) But ACSL teams also had a football component too, because I liked to draw football players in the autumn. Some teams had full rosters, and a lot of them had jerseys, and I even drew a few stadiums, because my dad was an Architect and I liked to draw buildings.

I decided I would try and recreate all the logos and post them, mostly for my amusement, but also for anyone who is interested in what a creative but nerdy kid I was. These first three are all from the state of Ohio. I think the Ohio Bullets one was the first one I ever drew, long before I'd thought of a league. It was just something I doodled once and then kept doodling because I liked it. I think they might have been based in Toledo (like Klinger from M.A.S.H.) but I'm not sure.

TheCincinnati Americans are one of two teams that were called "Americans," the other one being from Arizona. I'm not positive why I did this, but the CFL had two "Rough Riders" so it seemed appropriate. I remember the American's logo being a bit of an ironic rip-off of the Montreal Canadien's (one of my all time favourites) so that's how I've reproduced it.

Clevland's logo is super simple, another one that just came about by drawing circles. Clevland was always one of my favourite American cities. I always like the Browns and Bernie Kosar, even though they could never get by the Bengals or Broncos. Clevland, like Winnipeg, is a blue-collar town with an artistic heart. We're not cosmopolitan or effete, we're meat and potatoes towns that suffered long from mediocre sports teams. We're both substantial cities in our respective countries, but not anywhere near the top of anyone's list of important ones.

Letter to the Editor: Mirrors for Cyclists

Here's a letter I submitted to the Free Press this morning. It was published as "Letter of the Day" on Wed. April 5

Geoff Kirbyson’s article “Work Cycle” included some helpful hints for would-be cyclists, however, it failed to mention the one accessory I have found essential since becoming an all-season commuter: a rear-view mirror. A mirror keeps cyclists conscious of the goings on in the urban jungle and helps him or her make better decisions. For example, cyclists can dodge the myriad of potentially deadly spring potholes and cracks in the pavement without fear of being run-over when using a mirror. They can increase their courteousness by yielding to busses, cars turning right at stop lights and extra-wide commercial vehicles. The informed rider is also aware of aggressive drivers who give no quarter, and can act accordingly (i.e. hug the curb). No-one would operate a motor vehicle without proper rear-view mirrors, and frankly I’m amazed that so many riders, and cycling advocates, have overlooked this critical tool.