My disappointing new deodorant

You know it's minus 40 out when you start writing stuff like this to amuse yourself:

For the last ten years or so I have been faithful to the same deodorant. At various times it has been available as a generic brand or through Mennen under the moniker “Northern Ice.” Recently they stopped making this scent, I guess it just wasn’t profitable enough anymore.

That left me in a bit of a bind. I always felt fairly comfortable and confident in that particular shade of deodorant (it was blue-gray). It wasn’t overpowering and it wasn’t too fresh smelling (you know, like a bar of Irish Spring when you hold it right up to your nose and take a huge whif.) No, it had just a hint of spice and it worked with my natural chemistry in just the right way (or so I thought.)

I’ve never been into anti-perspirants because sweating is a natural thing, and I’m not a grotesque dripper or anything. When I was younger I used them but they gave me rashes sometimes, and they left odd stains to my shirts. But the funny thing is that since I’ve been using this new scent of deodorant I’ve been noticing perspiration. Is it possible that this particular formulation is making me sweat? Is it some kind of conspiracy by Mennen to sell more anti-perspirant? Also, I don’t like the smell of it too much, it smells so... fake.

Problem is I bought a stick that had 30% more, and being my grandpa’s grandson I am loathe to waste a perfectly good stick of deodorant no matter how cheap it may be to replace. My grandpa used to make me sop up the last bit of chili with a slice of bread; he had this special piece of plastic that went on the bottom of the toothpaste tube to roll it up so you’d get maximum value, and woe was you if you ever dared squeeze from the middle. I used to despise my grandpa’s tight-ass ways, but now I see what an influence his depression-era economies have had on me. I have “waste not, want not” tattooed to my brain.

I wonder if my grandpa has any advice on a suitable replacement brand of deodorant.