Notes from Minaki

Since I have nothing new to say today I've decided to delve into the archives. The following writings come from a little red book I own. I'm not sure which Minaki trip they represent (i.e. what the exact year is) but it might be '93 since that is the next entries in the book deal with my trip to Europe in that year.

(I) July 2

There's an empty bottle of JD before me
And a thousand beer cans aft.
But it's not the drinking
Or the food, or anything tangable
It's the feeling
It's the feeling
Everything else only enhances
What already exists
It's the love, the freedom
the danger, the anger
It's solitary confinment
It's the 3 Stoned Guys
Beyond home
The stress is forgotten
Money is for joy, not for hoarding
There is dancing & singing
there is deep thoughts
& there is light too.
Life & death & beauty & nature & civilization
& love

(II)

Onto the dock there is reality
We are swimming to celebrate
But suddenly fear grabs us by the ankle
And pulls us down
But we beat it
And it only makes me feel more alive
There is shadows in the room
First I ignore them
then they make me scared
I try to sing them away
But they don't listen, they are deaf
Then I think about you
You save me
And my trip to the room is complete
Because I know why I'm here
I have conquored
My lonely fears
They no longer exist because
Even when I'm alone,
I'm no longer alone.

(III)

Paddle, drink, smoke, cook, eat, sit, talk, dance, sing, sleep, arise, smim, think, BE, love, hate, write, play, read, ride, lie, look, hear, party, enjoy, walk, FEEL, dress, undress, laugh, RELAX, forget, remember, fish…

These are a few of the things we do on our holiday at Minaki together, apart: one, or one of.

So it rains, we can live with this. The weather is not a factor (I'm just reminding myself about the rain).

—Here it comes again—

At the time it is, later it becomes a memory, and later still an experience.

Don't do anything on purpose let it flow. Struggling all week to get the shit together, and now we sit here and just foget it all, and Be, Feel, Relax.

(IV)

My gods are beyond reckoning
My gods are or have been alive
And there is not One
There are hundreds
They are human & animal
natural & scientific
artistic & thinking
Beautyful & uglyness
My gods come from history
and present future
They are inspiration and feeling
planning & reasoning
14 years ago I was a child
In a world that was only understood
through the eyes of my mother
Now my mother is gone
An the world is only understood
Through my own eyes
My own 6 senses
And my friends that help me on the path.

(V) (A map of the inside of the cabin)