Practicing What I Preach

Here is an article I submitted today after stating my duty/goal/desire (in the last entry) to write more:


Last week it was revealed that the Employment Insurance fund contained a surplus of $51 billion. There wasn’t much of a brouhaha over this astonishing number, largely because it has been accumulating for years, and perhaps because in times of prosperity no-one seems to want to think too much about unemployment.

I for one have been thinking about unemployment quite a bit lately. Every day in fact. Actually unemployment and its near relation under-employment have been ongoing themes in my life ever since I entered the workforce as a burger flipper and potato peeler nearly 20 years ago. Despite having acquired a handful of post-secondary credentials, and a record of being agreeable and reliable on the job since then, the labour market and I have never been much better off as friends. Right now we are barely on speaking terms.

In my time I have had the rare luck to collect Employment Insurance on a few occasions. Though the qualifications have grown increasingly stringent and the benefits progressively paltry, I am living proof that some people actually do make on to the rolls of EI from time to time.

Of course the selection process for this stipend is rigorous and painfully slow. It has been designed to weed out anyone who might conceivably be considering it as a holiday from a hectic life, or escape from a dismal and unfulfilling work environment. Quitters and part-time workers are not welcome, and anyone who can supplement the basic amount they receive is penalized to ensure they remain wanting while at the behest of the government dime. Judging by the current surplus Employment Insurance laws have been extremely successful in keeping all but the most determined and desperate Canadians off the rolls, even in times of need.

For those whose stars happen to align in favour of EI benefits, a whole new course of delightfully archaic procedures awaits. Despite the truckloads of money this program provides to the federal government through premiums, finding current and useful resources within the governing Ministry of Human Resources and Social Development— especially those provided by a live person—remains elusive.

The talent for gaining appropriate council while collecting or awaiting Employment Insurance is a bit like having a knack for receiving favourable advice from Delphic Oracle. Many intricate rituals, mostly involving a specific sequence of numbers entered into a telephone keypad must be followed. Enduring long periods of sacrificial waiting for the next available agent to the tragic wail of some horribly mutilated one-time pop hit are required. Failure to ask the right question can result in a confusing and often misunderstood riddle as dispensed by a distant operator. Only when one has made a genuine dedication, can they obtain an in-person prophecy from on of the mysterious sages that preside over the HRSDC alter, and even then the news can be less than auspicious.

The adoption of the Internet has added a whole new layer of complexity and non-human interaction to the mix. Now you can be thoroughly confused and disheartened in both official languages without ever stepping foot inside an HRSDC office or listening carefully to all the available options. The complete canon of baffle-gab is available through a labyrinth-like series of links, the main advantage being that it does not require the purification ritual involving screeching violins and melancholic Moogs bleating out tributes to The Beatles and CCR.

Unfortunately the majority of criticism regarding the current surplus—estimated by senior bureaucrats within the department to be approximately $36 billion beyond what is needed to ensure the stability of the program—has focused on the opinion that EI premiums should be significantly reduced in the coming Conservative budget. This may be so, but it is also true that the program as a whole needs to be redefined. Employment Insurance should be rededicated to bringing more high-skilled and motivated workers into the economy by helping Canadians overcome their struggle to find consequential careers, rather than acting as a Kafkaesque castle of indifference where one’s grave and pertinent petitions are treated like prayers being carelessly shovelled into a great beyond.